Tuesday, July 25, 2006

You get let off work two hours early. You’ve nothing to do but go home. You turn on the telly and the computer. You never get round to changing the channel so you end up watching Miss Universe and googling cocksucking. It strikes you that there may just be something amiss in your life.

18 comments:

Armagnac Esq. said...

Cats!!

Armagnac Esq. said...

Also masturbation is a proven time killer whose health benefits far outweigh watching telly.

nailpolishblues said...

Who mentioned masturbation? Miss Universe doesn't make me, ah, tingle...

You might say that cats are missing from my life [this is very true], but not pussy...

Don Quixote said...

"Cocksucking"? I guess they don't go over that in the sex advice book - "What's happening to me?".

Mark said...

Ooh I could *so* write a book of advice for teenagers called 'What's Happening to Me?' where what was happening was, in fact, date rape.

Yeah, no real advice forthcoming though. I think masturbation is really the go.

nailpolishblues said...

Don: I would've thought that something titled 'What's happening to me?' would have been more of a puberty guide thing. I'm guessing that if you get to the sex bit and are still that clueless then you probably can't read anyway and wouldn't be consulting a book for advice...
Also, cocksucking in both word and deed - pretty self explanatory.
Mark: I am on my knees begging you to write that book.

I suppose that it's pretty stupid to ask men what you're supposed to do if you're not interested in masturbating..?

Don Quixote said...

"I suppose that it's pretty stupid to ask men what you're supposed to do if you're not interested in masturbating..?"

I'm not interested in masturbating... or sex for that mattter (a whole other blog post); I find listening to music a relaxing way to pass the time. I also find pruning my bonsai quite theraputic.

Mark said...

Yeah, 'pruning your bonsai' hey? We all know what that means :)

OK, I have rather a lot of writing to do so why don't we split the work? First we need a TOC covering all the topics that they don't teach you in sex education books. Any ideas?

nailpolishblues said...

I eagery went to check out that post, Don, but it wasn't there...

Mark - I'll take the STD section. Gonorrhoea: where you put it, we will swab you...yes, there too...

Foxhow said...

NPB
The narcisstic in me asks is your googling due to my comments on 1 July...

nailpolishblues said...

Nope. Follow the link. And then follow the link.

Foxhow said...

Can I delete my last comment.
If not for the shocking spelling error!

nailpolishblues said...

Only I have that power, Foxy. And I will not share it, oh no, I will not!
I prefer to claim that my spelling's fine - it's my typist who sucks. That'll teach me to hire a monkey to do all the crap jobs... Damn useless typing monkeys.

Foxhow said...

That's the justice I deserve for commenting after being at the pub

nailpolishblues said...

Ah, post-pub commenting - random funness for all the family...

infinitesimal said...

You are funny...

I can dig anyone who googles cocksucking.

themarina said...

This is like a page out of one of my days. Last week I actually managed to leave an hour early. Got home, turned on TV and PC and ended up watching "Entertainment Tonight", the stupid Chris Rock show and whatever else was on UPN or whatever that channel is called now. I know the feeling all too well.

nailpolishblues said...

infinitesimal Surprisingly dull results. Maybe my computer has some kind of child lock on it...hmmmm.

Marina This whole adult thing is getting to be a bit of a joke isn't it? Too buggered to do anything but work.