Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Here’s a tip – if you threaten to remove any of your girl bits with a spoon one day, the next you will have such bad cramps that you will break four teeth with the grinding them in pain.

Does anyone have some opiates that they’re not using right now? I could really use them.

15 comments:

TimT said...

The Vengeance of Nails, Episode 2: The Body Strikes Back.

nailpolishblues said...

All I need now is Return of the Spliff...

Hell, who am I kidding, thanks to Guitar Boy downstairs I've been slightly stoned all week. I do love a caring sharing neighbour who doesn't know how to close windows.

Mark said...

Four teeth? Ouch.

Ouch!

nailpolishblues said...

Oh okay, maybe I exaggerated on the teeth thing, but only a little bit.

Still, Mark, since you're in Cabramatta now...

alexis said...

God. Sorry. In the absence of laudanum, tell downstairs boy to go buy you some naprogesics (even if they do give you stomach ulcers and heart palpitations, at least they sooth a savage womb). Ventolin helps too, although you don't want to overdose. Also, hot water bottles and hot chocolate and curling up on the floor wailing. Here's sympathy. I'll be having a word with evolution on your behalf.

Mark said...

omg make some sense. wtf?drw

Mark said...

oops, put some of my word verification in there. Damn firefox for OSX...

nailpolishblues said...

Mark, Cabramatta train station used to be the place in Sydney for heroin.


Alexis, I think I own shares in the naprogesic making company. I fucking love those things. I have always been greatly offended by the small packet sizes though - I really think they should be a hundred to a packet at the very least.

alexis said...

Years ago (as in, 1994), my doctor gave me a prescription to the generic non-brand-name version of the same drug, which enabled me to buy up an enormous number o' pills for a very small fee.

Mark said...

Oh, well now it's crystal clear. But I wouldn't know how to buy heroin, I'm afraid. If there's someone standing around wearing PR shoes and a big straw hat a la the Velvet Underground song I might be able to work it out, but I haven't seen anyone like that.

TimT said...

Mark, it's simple. All you have to do is go and stand on Bourke Street in Melbourne and be called Jason.

A surprising number of people have been approached on Bourke Street wiht that very question - 'Are you Jason, mate, are you Jason?' Some even answer...

nailpolishblues said...

I thought it was Dave that one was supposed to hunt down. Maybe it's a regional thing.

TimT said...

Jason's going to be pissed when he finds that prick Dave has edged in on his market.

nailpolishblues said...

I think Jason's pretty safe. I was on a train coming back from the central coast this evening and Dave got hauled off by the guards for his rather anti-social behaviour. Naughty Dave.

Mark said...

OK, Dave and Jason then. I'll go and score some H. Back in a flash. Wikkid.