Heavy Heart

The return to work created gasps of excitement for no-one, not even me. I did, however, end up gasping rather a lot after my coughing fits. The new height of professionalism is croaking out, ‘one moment please’, smacking the hold button, and proceeding to choke long and loud, before coming back, finishing the call, choking again and spluttering ‘fuuuuuuuuuck’ to all who would listen. My chest and stomach now ache from coughing (i.e. my boobies hurt).

There was, of course, a charming moment when one of my colleagues just had to compare symptoms before deciding that she’d been much sicker than me and my-oh-my wasn’t she just my superior for sucking it up and coming to work. Stupid bint seems to live with blinkers on and expects everyone to do the same. The fact is that having worked there so long and taken so few sick days I felt no qualms about staying at home when I was ill. That is to say that unlike diddums (whose leave, of all kinds, has been used faster than it could accrue) I had it so I used it. Aside from all else, she’s been sick virtually as long as she’s worked there. I suspect that syphilis plays havoc with your immune system.

One final note, and this is as a reminder to me, I really must stop mocking other people for being sexually frustrated. Mine transcends colds and fevers to taunt me which leaves me in really no position to talk, at all, ever. Aside from all else, you never really know who’s shagging who behind the bike sheds until they’re caught or they confess in a drunken moment.