Monday, July 09, 2007

Would anybody...

...like to be my slave for a while? Just a few weeks or a month or so to start off with, we can work it out from there. Must be good at general housework, tea-making, tissue-handing, being nice (ironic, no?), and have a sense of humour/hide like an elephant (even why I try to be nice the bitchiest things just pop right on out of my mouth - awful). Must not be a prat, or a tit, or have tits - seriously, I cannot deal with women all the time (sorry sisters) and in my living space, and just the right level of subservience. Robots may apply but only if preprogrammed into slave mode. I look forward to hearing from you (ie I expect nil comments on this one, pussies).

In other news, I feel fucking awful. Still, days off work - yay.

10 comments:

Don Quixote said...

I can cook, but 'tissue-handing' sounds a little taxing.

nailpolishblues said...

You need only pass the box, and then only in an emergency - I'm keeping them pretty close at the moment.

JahTeh said...

'must not be a prat', well that leaves out most of the blokes.

By the way I was right, Mariah Carey eats blackberries, blueberries and beetroot but with her money she can afford a slave to feed them to her.

nailpolishblues said...

Good point. I'm obviously too sick to think clearly.

What a strange lass she is, may I have her cash but not her crazy.

Caz said...

Still, that in no way accounts for her orange skin.

Or her lack of clothing.

Or her big hair.

nailpolishblues said...

Revenge of the beetroot?

I have nothing.

Winter said...

If I ever get that horde of robot minions I'll be sure to pack one up and mail it off to you. :)

nailpolishblues said...

I would be very grateful, Winter.

Ann O'Dyne said...

" Good call, JahTeh. People just don't think enough about what might make their cat's lives easier.
nailpolishblues | Homepage | 07.07.07 - 6:07 pm | #"

NPN - I just had to swing by to see who said that.

fabulous.
I have seen a certain commentor who shall remain anonymous except for the initial JT
whose cat is served in the living room by the fire, on finest linens and china, and who has his food re-arranged on the plate for his ease of swupping it up with his kitty tongue.
and I don't find any of that remarkable.
Cat Gods.

nailpolishblues said...

Cat Gods? Isn't that a tautology?