Saturday, July 28, 2007

zeroth

“You’re a tidy girl,” said the prospective owner of my flat as she wandered about inspecting its points. I smirked as she turned away. No-one has ever described me as ‘tidy’ before. My housekeeping skillz are usually described as ‘chaotic’, ‘maid-needing’, and, once, though this extended to my general persona, as entropy. (I thought the last one was a tad harsh but it is nice to be at one with the universe - please, don’t disillusion me by mentioning anything about thermodynamics.) Housekeeping has never been my forte, I may have mentioned this before, and most people know that I am not one of those people you can just drop in on. I need notice so that I can tidy up and so that no-one will ever know just what a complete slob I am. It’s best not to surprise me – I get a bit weird. Still, Prospective Owner hadn’t surprised me; she’d walked in on the tail end of a two day cleaning spree and my flat was tidier than it had been in weeks, possibly longer. It didn’t really take me two days to tidy up, the place wasn’t that bad. It took so long because I could only clean so much after midnight before noise became an issue and then I had to get up early today to finish it off.

And since I was up early and already cleaning I proceeded to do whole bunch of housekeeperly stuff that would make any prospective mother-in-law proud (this has relevance, bear with me, or bare with me, I’m easy, I don’t mind)(oh wait, it doesn’t, never mind). This means that not only have I vacuumed, mopped, dusted (not in this order!), washed up, and laundered (oh clean sheets - blissikins!), folded linen, made the bed (I didn’t know it was meant to look like that either), but I have also baked and cooked, shopped, bought and arranged flowers, and spent some time prettying myself up for no apparent reason – well, clean sheets are a reason. I really feel that if I had to do all this crap everyday then, quite frankly, I’d require a Mr Darcy just to make (most of it redundant but, you know, servants don’t manage themselves) it worth my while. In other words, I’ll take working – it’s a shiteload easier and less tiring. Seriously.

P.S. Tell me that my eyebrows look super-awesome and I’ll love you for life. Really, they do. Damn, I am looking gooooooooooooood!

5 comments:

Enny said...

Blissikins!

Heh heh :o)

nailpolishblues said...

Nancy Mitford said very few things that didn't bear repeating. Consequently, I steal from her often.

JahTeh said...

Thank you, you made me look at the carpet now I'll have to look up the date of the last vacuum. I blame Harry Potter for my laziness as I keep hoping that the house elf will do it in the dead of night.

Caz said...

Super-awesome eyebrows are impressive.

Ditto the clean linen.

And the baking.

All good and well, but no word on whether you attended to the important matter of the bikini line, or if you are inadvertently frightening off prospective buyers because of oversight in grooming.

nailpolishblues said...

Caz - The bikini line gets no action and is, therefore, not worth mentioning. Besides, anyone who gets that close has far more worrisome things to contend with.
I am most impressed with me - the house has lasted more than 24 hours in pristine state which is way more than I can usually manage.

jahteh - if you had a wand and magic you wouldn't even need an elf. Of course, I would be too lazy to even wave my wand to clean up but I'm a bit pathetic so...