And really, isn't that what everybody wants, in the end?
I know quite a lot of boys and girls who feel that way, yes.
Has anyone taken time out to ask the beaver how it feels about all of this?
It's assumed that beavers will like what they're given.
Of course, it is our solemn duty as enlightened citizens of this new and informed age to recognise that beavers have highly specific needs that must be attended to.
It is highly gratifying to hear such a young man say that.Well, write that/read that.
Rest assured, 'tis often as much a product of my tongue as it is my fingertips. The espousing of certain aforementioned enlightened attitudes regarding the much-maligned art of beaver-maintenance, that is.
Much as I hate [Hate HATE] to admit this - you've absolutely beaten me, I have no comeback for that.
Of course, by the same token, that it is so relatively rare as to be gratifying to hear espoused, is a sad critique of the kind of society we're building, here.
I can't say I'm not secretly just a little pleased. Just a teensy-weensy bit.
And I am laughing into my tea.
Ah HA HA!!
Where can I find one of these beavers?
I am tempted to say 'look down', Julia...Ooops, I think I just did.Enny, indeed.
Oops, indeed. Maybe she's just looking for another one to keep the first one company, since according to popular myth, they get lonely. They lead deep and mysterious lives, y'see.
In which case, I have a cousin who mught suit her purpose.And, yes, they do get lonely and sometimes require something to fill the void.
And not just any old thing, beavers have very specific requirements! You wouldn't want to end up in a square peg/round hole situation, oh no.
Not that specific. In a bind all manner of objects can be made to fit...
Aye, something always captivating to observe in those dastardly beavers is, so I hear, the lengths they will go to in search of the tightest fit.
Indeed, in attempting to find the best fit they sometimes overstretch themselves. Not that often, but sometimes.
'Tis obvious your brain and mine are working in tandem, I was about to make the very same observation one comment earlier, but simply had not the wit to work it in there!And of course there can be no more terrible a sight than that of a tender, ambitious and now entirely overstuffed beaver. Whatever does one do with an overstuffed beaver, anyway?
Not so much do with, I believe by that point it's been well and truly done, and more do for. In which case, I would imagine, several drinks and a strategically placed ice-pack would be the order of the day. And, of course, the offer to kiss it better.
I often read in subject-specific columns that this offer is not given nearly as often as one might expect, for reasons that totally confuse the fuck out of me. A truly sad and rickety state of affairs for all beaver-kind. All man-kind, even. What kind of person fails to make an offer like that?!
I've never understood people who won't go out their way to make life better for poor innocent furry things. Perhaps they're very lazy sadists? Or even just meanies.P.S. Stop reading those crap chick magazines, they are designed to make women and men feel inadequate.
Sadists and the inhumanely self-absorbed, I suspect. Ultimately it resolves back to the same thing.Agreed. Thankfully, I actually got this information courtesy of the rip-roaringly snarky Dan Savage, the hardest gay man to ever pen a write-in-so-I-can-tear-your-throat-out-over-being-sexually-selfish column. If you haven't read his work, you should give it a try, it's all archived online *is too lazy to find the link*. He's nasty, but rarely without merit. Anyway! As I was saying: The neglect of furry things should be outlawed!
How odd, it appears to have truncated my run-on sentence. That should be 'sexually-selfish', I believe.
*stops mentally designing a Beavers have rights too! placard*I haven't read Dan Savage but I shall endeavour to rectify this forthwith.Also, not really the same thing - monumentally self-absorbed people rarely take pleasure in the pain of others. They're a bit too busy. Though, I suppose, neither do they take pleasure in the pleasure of others. In which case, my wits have deserted and for bed I must be bound.
This shall be written down in history as 'The Immortal Beaver Comment Thread'. How far can one little beaver go?
So long as the beaver continues to amuse [and be amused] it can go on and on.
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It follows that reality is a much bigger thing than it seems, and most of it is invisible. David Deutsch