I think I hate facebook. I have oh so many friends – nine, I am popular – and I think at least a third ‘friended’ me merely to boost their own stats. One, well, I see him every other day anyway and chatter to him at work so I guess I just make him look popular whilst making it look like I have a friend. Another is a school friend who I now suspect wishes she’d rejected me – and, really, didn’t we reject each other when we ‘lost contact’ for eight years? Another is another work person who I don’t speak to very often but have quite nice chats with when I do. I don’t know her very well though and suspect that this might be a good way to do so. Two are very old friends who I utterly adore for their complete wonderfulness and the fact that they love me enough to not mind that I am a bit of a crap friend. Aside from the lost-contact-with-school-friend I suspect that at least one secretly despises me and I know one thinks I am fool. One gets massively annoyed with what she sees as my great waste of potential. And for two, well, I doubt they ever think of me at all.
Yeah, call me cynical but I think the whole thing is about who looks most popular and who knows the most people [I do wonder when it will end and a winner will be declared]. I do not think it is at all about friendships or even the connections we make with each other. Quite frankly, I feel awkward about those of my ‘friends’ that I know but don’t have any major connection with. How much of me do I want these people to know? Obviously, given that I have a semi-secret blog under a pseudonym and I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of people who actually know my real name who read this, I am a fairly private person in that oddity that is real life. Hell, of those two very old friends only one of them knows about this – and I’ve known the other since I was four. The thing that gets me thinking is that if I am not close to them in person, if we cannot be bothered being friends in another way, in a proper way, why should we even pretend just because the internet is watching? Not that I think the internet is particularly watching but, you know, popularity contest – hello.
I suppose this is an odd thing to mention on a blog given the nature of the space and the rather odd set of relationships that come out of blogging but I do not feel comfortable with these half relationships, the relationships that are more about popularity than about the players. Fond as I am of a number of bloggers, really some of you are too fabulous for words, you are not my friends.* You may know me a little, you may imagine that you know me a lot, you may, in fact, know me quite a lot but you do not know me and I do not know you. Friends are the people one can phone or, being me, send random text messages to. Friends are the ones that you phone, in tears, when you realise your love and its ultimately pathetic and unrequited nature. Friends are the people that you go to the pub with every week. Friends are the ones that know your family and/or your family stories. Friends are the ones that realise that you love a person despite the fact that you may call them dumbarse and tease them mercilessly. Friends are the people you spend ten hours travelling to see and to spend a couple of hours with. I really must get back to the point. Did I have one? I think I was saying that I don’t like facebook because I find it essentially false. It is another way for people to pretend to be friends, or pretend to have a connection, and then spend their time ignoring each other.
* This is not to say that I wouldn’t like to know some of you better but, as is, well…