Monday, October 15, 2007

Ohohoh

What do you say to your childhood friend when her sister's just died? Her sister who was only a few years older than the both of you and who you remember so clearly as a child.
Oh fuck.
Fuck.
FUCK.

13 comments:

mhe said...

Being there for her and giving her an open ear would be a fantastic start. Don't just let her (or you) mourn, but remember the good times and celebrate her life.

nailpolishblues said...

Argh.

nailpolishblues said...

mhe, I am. And I keep telling her - I think I'm getting a bit annoying to be honest.

JahTeh said...

Don't feel guilty because you're alive and she's not. People did that to me when the kid died.

nailpolishblues said...

Oh no, jahteh, just sad.

mhe said...

Ha ha well, balance. And wine.

Rambling Mumma said...

That you're just so sorry for her loss.

And just let her know that you'll help her out in any way you can, if she needs it. Funerals take a lot of organising, so she might need someone to do a bit of that for her?

nailpolishblues said...

mhe, ah yes. Moderation. I've heard about that before.

rambling mumma - this is a family of organisers. All sorted. I think that eventually I'll just get her drunk and mop up afterwards. Getting people drunk is one of my few talents.

Caz said...

At this very early stage, just being there is enough Nails, and not changing the subject, no matter what your friend wants to talk about ... let her know she can talk, or not, and you'll be there and you'll listen.

Later ... still be there. Some deaths keep on giving. Just be there.

Losing a sibling doesn't get a lot of "PR" time. It's worse than people might imagine. There is the personal loss of the sibling, but there is also the psychic loss of the parent/s, who are dealing with the death of their child - which is something parents never fully recover from. There is, in a sense, a dual loss.

nailpolishblues said...

Caz, I'm trying not to imagine but, yes, I can see how awful losing a sibling would be - and a child for the parents.

Caz said...

Wow, you have a singularly inappropriate spammer Nails.

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Well, I have been through it, in spectacularly "tragic" circumstances, as they like to say in the press, and it's the sort of thing you don't live through, but eventually, after 5 years or so, perhaps never for some people, you learn to live with it, a constant companion. The acute pain continues to stay remarkable close to the surface though. That's a bugger of a thing.

nailpolishblues said...

Caz, yeah. She keeps saying that it isn't real yet and that I can understand - what's one week to 34 years? Well, 29 years, I guess I should count by the younger one's age.

That spammer is getting on my tits.

Mitzi G Burger said...

The Jewish expression to say to a bereaved person is "I wish you long life", or simply, "long life".