The song of this hour is jealous screaming. Of wanting what I can’t have. Of not being able to give up. Of being sidelined and saddened. Pathetic and maddened. It is every negative emotion. It is jealously by the jug. I am mad with it as I chug it down.
It is the sound of me hating you for my inadequacies. I’ve mentioned them before, a thousand times, a million, more. It is my jealousy of your beauty or your brains or both. My hatred of your personality because you are so fucking nice. You probably fuck nice too.
It is my jealousy of lips and teeth and shadowplay. More of wanting what isn’t mine and won’t be mine and what I can’t have. Envy, sweet, delectable friend of my days, biting into skin and baring soul. The screams that don’t happen. Or maybe they do. But not for me.
The jealousy turns like and envy to fantastic hatred of the pointless type. It is a hatred that I have mastered. I declare war and wave flags and am left unheard like the best of losers with their anger and their lined pages.
Reading this you will be wrong. Leave my lines. Cast off and go away. Take my toys and the stupid joy of my imagination. Make it what you will. This hateful jealousy should wither in open air but it will not.