Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Ice ice baby

Recently, I’ve used the phrase ‘it’d be good to get sick, just so I wouldn’t have to work’ quite a lot. I am now officially retracting that statement. I feel awful. I feel sick and restless and bored and awful. I have managed to waste a small forest’s worth of tissues. My head, though oddly round, really isn’t that big. Unless, of course, my brain has liquefied and is leaking out. I may have to explore that option – it seems very likely right now. [Has anyone else gone all Dali here?] I am having serious fever weirdness.
I have spent the day on the couch doing a bit of this a bit of that a bit of nothing really at all. I have spent time on the couch icing my head. Oh ice. Ohhh ice. That seems so good I might go back to doing it. My brain will soon have its own fever – it can be the twin fever of my body, they can keep each other company.
Daytime tv could really do with being better. So could night time tv. Actually, tv could really do with being better – Wife Swap would be better if it was pornographic. Way better.
I phoned my boss this morning, when, ironically, I was feeling much better than I am now, to say that I wouldn’t be in today and probably not tomorrow but I’d let her know. I haven’t let her know yet. She must have realised I was ill because it was the longest and most informative conversation that we’ve had in quite a while. That was how I knew I was sicker than I’d thought. She made the usual commentary of that’s-okay-love-get-a-medical-certificate. They’re obsessive aren’t they? I already told her that I had a cold. I wonder if the doctor will contradict me. No, you have no cold! You have clearly just broken a very small bone in your left hand! Hypochondriac! [Ohhh ice.]
What really annoys me is that I’ve been getting sick for a week and it’s mostly due the amount of times I’ve been soaked to the skin on the way to or from work. Getting soaked and frozen in one night was fun. It was funner when three days later it was hot as hell. I have to say – fuck global warming, it makes you sick. That’d make a great campaign slogan. Yeah.

Does anyone have a bath full of ice that I could borrow for a day or two? And perhaps some laudanum that I could have? I’d really appreciate it.

I just googled ‘laudanum’ for fun and/or stockists – the #1 site to come up relate some guff about the romantic poets ‘Lord Byron, Shelly [sic] and others’. The misspelling has, in fact, made me feel siccer. Clearly, NYC Goths are tragic and stupid – don’t take this as a compliment, retards. I have some real issues with that.


Addendum – Wikipedia does it too! ‘Mary Shelly’ apparently wrote this novel called Frankenstein – presumably not to be confused with Mary Shelley’s novel of the same name. I wonder if Mary Shelly was married to that poet guy that the Goths mention?

Oh for Christ’s sake, laudanum me.

12 comments:

rachy said...

Would it make you feel any better if I thought you looked real purdy in your birthday photos? That green top really rocks on you, the sleeves were the coolest part.

themarina said...

Oh you poor soul. For those of us that don't abuse the system, sickness always trikes the hardest. What a nightmare! I hope your feeling better soon! And those goth kids really piss me off too.

BourbonBird said...

This weather is stupid - I've spent the week thus far following Charli around with a box of tissues. Now I'm catching the bug, too.

TimT said...

I have a tub with ice in it, but I'm going to have to clean all the human organs out of the fridge and wipe that bloodstained message off the bathroom wall before anybody else uses it.

nailpolishblues said...

Excellent, Tim, will half an hour do? That'd give me time to cool off before heading off to the doctor.

This weather just got stoopider, Bourbs, 35 today - apparently. I'm not sure if it's hot or I'm feverish or both.

Thanks Marina - you know, I must sound shit cause when I phoned in sick again today I was asked if I'd be in tomorrow. Ummm yes, no, yeah, no, maybe, see what the dr says... I'd like goths so much better if they had senses of humour. But no.

Rach - not so much purdy as really, really shitfaced. I don't remember half those photos...I remember the people though. The only conversation I can really recall from the whole night is Adam's tale of how he's managed to do no work whatsoever in about four years. Why didn't I take notes?

nailpolishblues said...

Does it surprise anyone that the doctor agreed with my diagnosis? We then had a lovely chat about how stupid it is to have to have a medical certificate for all sick days and for pretty obvious and very untreatable things such as colds. I actually like a doctor. Wow.

Misha said...

I think I have what you have. Except no one at my work gives a shit re: doctor's certificates. Thank christ for that.

So true, so true.

Get better soon yo.

nailpolishblues said...

I'd say 'lucky you', Mish, but something tells me you don't get paid for sick days either...
Bad luck on the ill, though.
Cute pic.
[oh dear, this is fun - kick in COdral, kick in!]

Misha said...

'tis true. I've had three days off which, although i'm loving it now, may slightly hurt when I get my payslip next week.

Meh, I needed a break anyway so I'm not complaining!

Codral is the shit, I've been in a Codral-stupor for a couple of days now. I'm flying.... flyyyiiiingggg

nailpolishblues said...

I loved the pharmacist explaining the Codral to me 'the white ones are for the day, the blue ones are for the night'. Uh huh. Dude, I'm a shiftworkr - don't confuse me...
Almost wish I was taking a third day off - then again, I'll go in sounding shit and they'll stop thinking I was bullshitting them. It's been kinda nice having five days off in a row even if I was hungover for one and sick for two. :)

Tony.T said...

"Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it."

-- Someone or other.

Huggies said...

Your poor soul. Having to watch Bert, Dr Phil & Huey's Kitchen...