Sunday, May 07, 2006

These people are arseholes.

You’ll all remember, I’m sure, the little piece of laundry madness of a few weeks past. Well, today I can go you one better. In my vain and slightly futile semi attempts to get my flat in parental visiting order I’ve realised that there’s really rather a lot of washing I ought to do. So today I went down to put on some towels. Quite a lot of towels, it’s amazing how they accumulate. I felt that they needed some kind of cleaning liquid to go with them – a feeling that apparently contradicts the feelings of the person who has stolen all my laundry products. I was initially surprised by the bottles not being where I’d left them. I looked around and they weren’t there at all. This is the point where I started screaming [mostly internally] with irritation and rage.
Who steals these things and why? They’re sitting there unattended. You do not need to take them away to steal from them. And, let’s face it, they’ve been pretty god about taking from them as they need them. My new thought [yes paranoid] is that somebody [somebody who is illiterate and mute as can be assumed by their inability to write or speak to me] is attempting to communicate something to me. I’m not sure what. I think I may have failed Communication by theft 101. I probably didn’t hand in an essay or something.
I do wonder if I’m being petty here. I mean, it’s only laundry liquid; it only costs about five dollars a bottle. Should I be pissed off that somebody takes it? I know that there are some total wolf-babies in this block… Do you know what? Petty or not I’m awfully pissed off and have lost all regard for the cunts who live here.
Isn’t it pathetic that when somebody has [pointlessly] stolen from me I am inclined to blame myself and question my own reactions?

Oh and to the person who did this – some lovely syphilitic thoughts are coming your way.


Don Quixote said...

Leave a little note up in the laundry - at least the theif may feel a touch of guilt the next time they are in there.

robkemp said...

Forget the note - you can do two things depending on your timeframe and ability to create:
1. Keep an eye on those who go out to the bins with your stuff. Yes, it involves plenty of time, but they will get caught in the act.
2. Put a nasty liquid substitute in a normal bottle (you might need to use oils to cover the smell of your liquid of choice). As for suggestions as to the liquid itself, be creative and vindictive at the same time (although it might be worth noting that someone who steals may not confess easily to destroying the machine, so choose your liquids carefully).

Don Quixote said...

'i' before 'e' in 'thief' - what was I thinking?

Mark said...

What an awesome wikipedia page...

Have you thought about carrying your detergent with you as you go to the laundry? Radical concept. And maybe chain down the washing machine itself.

nailpolishblues said...

I considered the note thing but I think they're probably illiterate or just don't care. Either way they're stupid for stealing something they were getting provided for FREE. Maybe I'm illogical here but unless they used it all up in a manner that was obvious, they had the joy of me buying and supplying indefinitely - so why steal the full bottles? Their free supply has just become finite becuase I'm not stupid enough to leave anything there for future theft. I'm dealing with illogical fucking morons.
Obviously, I will now be carrying it with me for each and every load. Do you think they'll steal the washing machine, Mark? And take it up to their tacky little bedsit perhaps? Ah, who knows - I'd like to think not but these retards are clearly capable of any number of stupid acts. Still, it's like 15th hand, only cost me $200 bucks, and I didn't expect it to last quite so long. Oh and if they steal it then it's theft on a scale that I can prove - only five flats have access and I can bet that none would relish police can tell this by the fact that the stairwell ALWAYS stinks of dope.
As for the revenge thing, Rob - well, I like to avoid that kind of thing. Some how it always rebounds badly on me. Also, I do not want shit in my washing machine.
Sorry but can anyone tell me what these fucking retards were thinking because I'm dying to know!

nailpolishblues said...

PS I can neither type nor spell without the aid of word, Don - I didn't even notice.

themarina said...

I don't think you're being petty. If they were that desperate they could have used some of it (thought this would still have pissed me off) instead of taking the whole thing. Losers.

Mark said...

I know - put a Mr Bean style padlock on your washing machine. That way, no one can use it. Easy.