This time next week I’ll be passed out, utterly exhausted, after escorting my sister and nephew to the Easter Show. I am expecting good times, bellyaches, and having to carry a sticky little exhausted person at some stage. I also have a few concerns. The biggest of these is how do I keep my sister under control? I wonder if they make harnesses in her size. Or maybe I could borrow something from the stables… My other concern is how to prevent her from buying the entire show, bringing it home, and squeezing it into my flat. I’m thinking of sneakily going through her wallet and hiding all cash and cards – seriously, she has a problem.
I’m also slightly concerned about someone stealing my nephew and selling him. I know he’s pretty but I have dibs.
9 comments:
The hiding of the cash may not be a bad idea with two winners: you and her!
Have a great time!
I'm pretty sure you can't have sex with your nephew, dude. We've been over this before.
Ahh, the show. Such an expensive place to go, where you'll get sore feet and pay up to $20 for a show bag containing $15 worth of goods, and vouchers for about $25 worth of savings, which you'll never use. The queues are long; the rides... blissfully short in their stomach emptying capacity; the crowds, obnoxiously ignorant.
Have fun!
Thanks Marina. I shall out sly her [one of these days]...
Mark - So that's how it works in your family is it? And to think, the only designs I had on my nephew was to sell him to Angelina.
Phish - Well, I'll try and have fun. Given that my companions both have, roughly, the mental age of a 4 year old I'm pretty sure that all of it will be much fun to them.
Wait - they're going to stay at your place?
Crikey, you might have to lock the kid up in the closet or something just to keep things from being smashed. This is highly recommended, as it will lead to all manner of delightful 'coming out of the closet' anecdotes you can tell his friends when he is older.
Tim, how sweet of you to assume that there's anything in my flat that's smashable [aside from the tv and the boy has much respect for the Nemo box]. I'm hiding my laptop though - he and my mother recently had a huge argument over a computer. For the record, he knows how to work it better than she does [and I don't think he can read yet] and I'm not sure how or why you'd argue with someone who's 4. I'm sure I'll find out though.
Yes, they are staying with me for an entire week and, no, I'm not sure how I'll cope. And dammit do I now wish I had a closet to lock him in - between that and the fairy wings his 18th could be THE most amusing party ever. I wonder if my sister would agree to locking him in the cockroach infested cupboard next to the sink...? I wonder if she'd let me release him again... Oh my god, she is planning on taking him home again, isn't she?
Never underestimate the Smashing Powers of small nephews. They can smash things that were previously thought Unsmashable!
Then the back end of him will meet with my vengeful hand.
He's pretty well trained and not that much into breaking stuff. Ordering people around is much more his thing.
My mum's visiting later in the month - given that she broke my kettle on one visit she's the one I'm a bit more concerned about.
I love that you need the harness for the sis rather than the nephew - I don't know why that tickles me so!
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