I got a message from a friend yesterday and realising its importance I answered it, with all the haste I could muster, this morning. She wanted me to meet her at the airport for one hour on a Sunday morning. Not my version of a morning but the genuine kind, the before midday kind. A few weeks ago I agreed to do this and met her and her family as she waited for her mother’s plane to arrive. The whole trip took about four hours [including the time I spent with them] and cost a truly ridiculous amount as I was forced to use the airport train system. And it was awkward and I was trying not to be pissy even though I was pissed off with all the trains and the waiting around and the heat exhaustion. What made it particularly annoying for me is that I live quite close to the airport, maybe fifteen minutes by car, but I had no other way of getting there [other than a cab and, seriously, no]. So I resolved that there’d be no more meeting people at the airport. I don’t meet my family when they fly in to see me [which means that my parents have a key to my house and that just kinda freaks me]. I’ve even refused to meet my sister when she flies in over Easter because all she has to do is grab her baggage [including her son] and get in a cab.
I don’t see the point of meeting someone for an hour in awkward and uncomfortable circumstances while they supervise their kids in a public place. Or travelling for hours to do it and thus spending a large chunk of one of my precious days off on public transport [I spend about three hours of a working day travelling, that’s enough for any week]. And I feel like a total shit for not hugely putting myself out to spend an hour with a friend.
Seriously, where are the limits? Am I as in the wrong as I feel here? Am I being thoroughly selfish? I’d like to see my friend but the inconvenience of it is enough to bring me out in hives.
Ugh, signing off and feeling petty and selfish and lazy and a whole range of not good things but also relieved that I haven’t given up half a day for an hour. Maybe this is indicative of the present status of our friendship. It’s always so hard when friends cease to be the free individuals you once knew and have a whole range of responsibilities that supersede your free individualness…