Baby, it's cold outside.

I forced myself to go out today. I’ve only been back five minutes but it was so traumatic that I had to instantly commit it to screen. I wouldn’t have bothered but the milk is running low and I need tea, really, really need tea. Tea with milk. Tea with milk that soothes the savage throat. And so, I put on more clothing items than I’ve worn in days, including some very unwelcome articles of underwear, and forced my feet out of slippers (oh! How close I came to wearing my kitty slippers in public! Oh! How embarrassing that would have been!) and into shoes that redly clashed with my purple socks and made my way across the wasteland of Carp Ark and down a block to the wildly overpriced corner store. Honestly, the fuckers don’t even stock decent chips – which is in no way made up for by the very alluring mini-packets of bananas (the lolly variety). Still, they do stock milk (tucked away in a broken filing system, hidden in a toilet under some dingy under lit stairs in the basement) and I procured some. Forgive me, I’ve lost/forgotten/simply don’t care about what I was going to say next. I’m still sick, you see? I think I may now need to wander off and flake on the couch and maybe read some Georgette Heyer [oh really, fuck off, what else do you read when you’re sick?]. This one way conversation is making me oddly cranky. Damn internet – argue back!!!

Ahem, anyway, I’ll leave you with two things that have cropped up in my day that are, honestly, super interesting. 1) I swear I heard this on an ad: Baby tender kisses just wants to kiss and love you. Well, I’m freakin’ disturbed. I have misheard that. I must. I tried to google but you can imagine what I found. 2) I now have I’m a reindeer herder to the tune of this. Stupid mammoth discoverer.