Let Us Know if You are Allergy

Shortly before I got out of bed this morning I realised that I was not going to have the most pleasant of days, not even for days. I woke up feeling hungover, which is nasty given that it’s a little under a week since I had any alcohol, and like some jerk of an alien had abducted me in the night and unkindly cleaned out my sinuses with a combination of salt-water and sandpaper and then failed to rinse. I feel, in short, fairly yucky. I also feel very cold, which is probably due to the weather. My brain keeps throwing slightly weird, weirder than normal, things at me so I think I probably have a fever. I might not, that might just be paranoia or hypochondria or almost anything else ending in –ia.

Anyway, realising this, I tried to stay in bed all day. It didn’t work as my head hurt to much and I just couldn’t stay comfortable. So, instead of resting properly, I’ve spent all day pissing about on the internet trying to annoy people. I’m still trying but everyone’s being awfully reasonable. The important thing to not here is not that I’m incapable of writing coherent paragraphs or of getting to the point. The important thing is that it is after five on a Sunday afternoon and I am not at the pub. I feel too sick and too unhungover-hungover to go drink beer. Curses etc.

Instead, I’m sitting here and thinking of which Thai dishes will best suit my awful sinus problem, my fever, and my general weird yuckiness. And the menu doesn’t include laksa which is what I really want. Fuckers. Oh wait, I FOUND THE LAKSA!!!! It was hiding under ‘Noodle Dish’ which, just incidentally, describes how I feel right now. I wonder if they’ll deliver a vat?

It’s times like these, honestly, that make me hate being single – I really need to have someone else think for me for five minutes. And no, sometimes friends just aren’t enough – especially when they all laugh at your stupid things, all the time.