Saturday, December 22, 2007

"We wish you a..." "Oh fuck off and die."

In addition to the back-ache and 'virus' I now have my period. Would anybody like to come over and shit on my head? Really, that seems to be all that's missing in my life right now. Well, that and an awful lot of drugs.

8 comments:

Martin Kingsley said...

Sorry, too far to go, I'll have to up and disappoint you all over again and pass on the offer. Alas!

Shelley said...

Ah, so if I was serious about having someone shit on my head then Melbourne would be the place to go? Figures.

Martin Kingsley said...

But we do it with class, and a certain panache that is lacking elsewhere.

Shelley said...

In private rooms with expensive wallpaper rather than on the streets on King's Cross?

Martin Kingsley said...

If possible, aye, and with tasteful reproductions of '20s Russian Cubist art adorning the walls when and where available; we're flexible, though, and to our endless credit.

Shelley said...

I suppose that the streets are rather off limits for a large part of the year, it being Melbourne and all.

I'm not sure that flexibility would be of credit in this situation. The beginnings of a nightmare perhaps.

Martin Kingsley said...

Eh? My streets are perfectly serviceable (not to mention, they're organised in a real grid layout), and offer a fine work place for those practitioners of the world's oldest profession, ready to cater to your every need, no matter the apparent narrowness of the niche!

Sounds like a promising nightmare, though, innit?

Shelley said...

I meant the weather. I'm sure the streets are perfectly serviceable even if boringly organised.

Promising nightmare? What a frightening phrase.