I am having a week off work soon. It is solely for the purposes of recouping my self. I have been so fragmented lately, so confused, so quietly distraught. I mistrust everything that relates to me and quite a lot that doesn’t. I can no longer think and I don’t know anything. I am tired. Worse, I am totally fed up.
I feel friendless in a sea of people. I have forgotten how to interact with most people. I think I inadvertently snubbed someone at
I desperately need to find a way back into myself, to find a person that I don’t entirely despise, to find a hope for the future before I decay and become one of those sad old women. Oh, I can feel her broken old fingers on my shoulders; she’s so close to claiming me as her own. I am grey, suddenly, all over, and she knows it, she knows it.
In the shower, moments ago, hours ago, monets ago, I decided that on my mini holiday I will spend one entire day in bed. From there I will contemplate my life and formulate plans. I think I will buy new sheets just for the occasion. I may even purchase some cardboard and textas and draw myself a new life.