Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Tortoise and The Pretzel

I sat down, oh about half an hour ago, to write wrathfully about the cult of death and the utter absurdity of elaborately wrapping corpses and then burying them but somewhere between the slowness of start up and the irritating conductor on tv I lost the rage. I don't quite seem able to hold it these days. All I have now are snippets, half forgotten things, half rotten things, and half written things. I wonder if I will ever get back to them.
Last night I spent quality time on the phone with my parents as my mother attempted to explain yoga postures that are supposed to be good for my little nerve problem. Step by step instructions via mobile phone. Now do this, now do that. Woman are you crazy, that's not physically possible. Inside or outside the legs. Put daddy on. Daddy, what's she doing now? Ah. Bloody woman's dyslexic.
I need to sort out the yoga thing. And then the physiotherapist thing. And then maybe a pilates thing. And then maybe a whole entire life thing. Mostly I need to sort out my back. Ouch. Alcohol and painkillers might not be best practice. Fun though.

9 comments:

Miles McClagan said...

Alcohol and Painkillers, wasn't that an old Oasis B side? Ah, those were the days...

Anonymous said...

Dyslexic pilates? Were you doing the Downward God?

:D

Shelley said...

It wouldn't surprise me if we were, Mark.

I thought that was more the Oasis lifestyle than music style, Miles.

Dan said...

Oh, what I wouldn't give for booze right now.

Mish said...

Time to visit the chiro?

My step sister's training to be a chiropracter... she keeps asking people if she can test the neck cracking thing. You know what I mean.

It's free if you are brave.

Shelley said...

I think I'll try the physio first, Mish. See what they advise - mind you - a good neck cracking sounds lovely. Thanks for the offer, I'll definitely keep it in mind.

I would happily booze you, Dan, were you not so terribly far away.

Anonymous said...

I often self medicate with alcohol and pain killers. just don't tell any of my patients. do as I say not as I do

Dan said...

I could use it. I need to sit down and write about some shit. Boo being busy. And I don't think anyone watches the videos.

PS I finally quit smoking.

Shelley said...

Nursemyra, I'm happy to do as you do.

Oh Dan, I had a single puff last night - the wonder! It went very well with the alcohol and painkillers....