I really really REALLY don't like the ominous noises that my tummy is making. I'm not very keen on the nauseous feeling either. When I filled in the form and licked the back of the stamp for 'New Improved Time Off Work (The Illness Edition)' this was not what I had in mind. I was after laryngitis, pharyngitis, or perhaps a nicely debilitating properly sprained ankle. Hell, I'd even have taken the varicella zoster edition and donated twenty tubes of blood for a reasonable cause.
Maybe licking the stamp was the mistake. I feel that anything crossing my lips might be a mistake right now. Oh my.