Someone’s flicked the switch on my libido. I’m now struggling to stop myself from attacking men in the street. I almost jumped the guy in the next department at work on Wednesday – he must have sensed danger ‘cause he left early and edged his way out the door before bolting down the hall and out to freedom. Actually, I’m becoming quite fixated on him owing to a certain sexiness that is, quite frankly, at odds with his personality [he’s a cock][hmmm, maybe not the best description][damn, need to get that image out of my head][stupid, stupid me]. Despite his, uh, personality flaws he’s one of those rare people who totally electrifies me. I am very aware of him. [Daydreams…] Yes, where was I? Oh yeah, my present state of being is not being helped by my kind concerned friends. One of whom keeps singing what is aptly described as a fucking tune to me. She phoned me up this morning and sang just to mess with me. By that time I was already messed having spent a good hour listening to Jarvis. That man’s voice is enough to…oh but I digress… Hmmm, yes, the problem is so bad that I briefly thought of actually attempting to get myself a shag and the varying ways I might go about doing it [by which I mean the getting of not the doing of]. On Wednesday I seriously thought of just jumping, er, him and having my way – there is a name for this but it presently escapes me. And then I thought of some kind of advertising system but realised that I’d probably only pick of up a gaggle of chubby chasers and feeders and, quite frankly, while I’m pretty desperate I’m not that desperate yet. There’s really something quite off putting about being a generic object of a fetish, isn’t there? Irritatingly, that only leaves the good old fashioned method of trying to pick up. Trying is almost never successful [see above about fetishists] and most of my accidental pick ups end up going off with my company. Also, I do tend to be a bit shy/pathologically weird around strangers. Want ego-death? Approach me!
Ugh, I have no real solution to this, or, at least, none that don’t require far too much effort on my part. Maybe if I ignore it it’ll go away. And, for fuck’s sake, don't mention SEX!