Being unhappy with my life direction and unable to have some of the things that would, I believe, greatly enhance my quality of life I have come up with a very clichéd and half-arsed plan to figure out what to do next based on what I really really want but can’t/don’t have. Some of these may be wildly silly and madly petty but since I’ve decided put in as many things as there are years of my life…aren’t you glad I’m not 50?
1. An interview handbag and general rejuvenation of things relating to appearance for the purposes of looking like I already have a super top job and don’t need another so that someone will actually give me a semi-reasonable job that won’t be quite so dull and poorly paid as my present one. This is on the same rational level as proving to the bank that you don’t need any money to get a loan. Hopefully it will work.
2. A new head of hair. I’ve fucked this lot up and I realise that it will take sometime to grow back. That’s okay.
3. I’m reaching the point, again, where I need to study. Not simply for the calibre of job that I would like to be able to aspire to but because I’m getting really bloody intellectually bored and I find that I deal better with a goal oriented study, as judged by other people, that anything I do by myself. By myself I tend to get bored and just let things slide, a lot. And, yes, I am going to be one of those people who is always studying something. Damn, eh?
4. Sort out my finances. Ugh. And then more ughs followed by a spell of passing out, coming to, going ugh again, and repeating all the above steps whilst on way to pub to drown sorrows. Yes really.
5. Finding out what just made that weird squelchy noise in, I think, the vacuum cleaner. Or maybe not. That was really odd.
6. Make my living space more drop-in-able so that I don’t lie dead and undiscovered for ten days.
7. To this end: a cleaner. Just once a week or maybe once a fortnight. Yes, I really am that bad at keeping things in order and I really dislike housework that much. I wonder how much a cleaner costs? Maybe I can just find someone with a cleaning fetish or something.
8. Be more dedicated to the idea of whimsy in everyday life.
10. Health insurance [thank you for making this virtually mandatory, Australia].
11. The complete Monkey on DVD. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
12. Laundry basket and bin. In short, better organisation and storage. Mantra: the floor is not an organised storage space.
13. I would like a pet, specifically a cat, actually, two cats so that they have company when I’m not around. For that I will need more, or perhaps better, space and more money so that I can [more than] adequately look after my pets. My family are the people of whom you’ve heard tales told – those who all but mortgage the house to pay the vet bills. Anything less is tantamount to abuse, isn’t it?
14. Finally buy my graduation present [don’t ask].
15. Accept that my ipod is probably going to be the great love of my life.
16. Stop reading clinical notes and thinking, ‘but that sounds like me!’ Go to the doctor and prove that there is nothing really wrong.
17. Maybe learn to sew. I really lack practical abilities. Abilities, even.
18. In the same vein, invite into my life more technical people who won’t laugh [too much] about my technological ineptitude.
19. Learn to use my ipod better.
20. And my computer. I swear.
21. Flat with bath and balcony so that I can wallow in long baths and can kill even more plants. Probably not in such a jumbled mess though.
22. Bedside table/s. I have junk [books] everywhere.
23. I want something, possibly antiquey, definitely styley, to serve as a dressing table beneath my grandmother’s mirror. I need somewhere to store my lady things.
24. More bookshelves. We can safely assume that there will always be new books.
25. When I’ve sorted some of my things out, the things I need/want to buy new, get involved with this or trial it and see how it goes: Compact.
26. New glasses, metal does funny things with age, very funny things.
27. Never again pull a muscle in my back whilst sneezing.
28. Not regretting things like never having anybody being in love with me or not owning property or not having had a child – just accepting big things like that as how my life has been and not pining over what I’ve never had.
See how lists achieve so much?