Gourmet Scum

Few things have entertained me as much, recently, as the attempted seduction of Wheels by a travelling salesman in a dodgy old stationwagon on a dirt road. Right now I’m not sure which I love more - Degrassi or ABC2 for showing the repeats.

Oh and about posting better stuff…the urge has passed. Get over it.

Fuck I love Degrassi.

Hi

Firstly, I’d like to apologise for how crap this blog has become. I wouldn’t normally care but I’ve recently read some old posts and, well, geez I’ve written some seriously dull shit lately. I promise to try to maybe make some kind of attempt to do better or something.

Secondly, I know you’re all gagging for an update on my life and times given the simply fascinating life I have been leading lately and so, without further ado, here’s a brief update.

• my neighbours are having a party tonight so I will be spending the night curled up on the couch crying at their awful music/conversation/selves/anything else I can think of and stabbing myself every single time I hear ‘like’
• erm
• oh yes, sister & nephew have been and gone - I believe that we did buy almost the entire show and I am still digging bits of building toys out from in/around/under my furniture
• the early mornings really sucked
• children get harder to manipulate and fool as they get older [little shits]
• siblings get easier to manipulate and fool as they get older [I’m LYING]
• my sister is someone whose company I can only cope with in small doses
• likewise my nephew
• my mother was here last week has gone away this week and will be back next week
• tomorrow I am getting [blessedly] drunk with someone I’m not related to
• I’m bored with this now

Thirdly, who the hell is actually reading this blog? My stat counter is weirding me out as the numbers climb faster than I can account for and since I can’t access my stats properly I’m just dying to know who you [yes you] are. Therefore, lurkers, please stop lurking – come on out and say hi.

Fourthly, honestly, next post will be something reasonable. I have some ideas [yeah yeah pick yourself up off the floor].

P.S. My arms hurt.

Mathew, if you're there, then just show yourself.

I don't like this feeling of having you hover somewhere over my right shoulder.

Here’s a tip – if you threaten to remove any of your girl bits with a spoon one day, the next you will have such bad cramps that you will break four teeth with the grinding them in pain.

Does anyone have some opiates that they’re not using right now? I could really use them.

The child hours are fucking killing me.

I wonder if I can dig my uterus out with a spoon..? Although, really, who am I kidding, it's not like accidental pregnancy is a huge issue in my life right now.
Six a.m. is NEVER all right. Six a.m. is always all wrong.

Oh, and Tim, I was quite wrong about the headbutting thing - headbutting me is apparently a whole lotta fun.


* Goes off to find spoon. *

* They will never take us alive, preciouses. *