Friday, August 14, 2009

A thousand ways to say ow.

Dear Universe,
This year sucks for me. I get it. This week has been pretty monstrous. I get that. The painkillers I've been swallowing relentlessly are inadequate. I get that.
Twisting my ankle in the back streets of Newtown? That was just bitchy. Go fuck yourself.
Sincerely,
etc etc

13 comments:

Maria said...

Gulp. That was quite ... expressive.

So, what's the 999th way to say ow?

Is it more or less forceful?

Shelley said...

I think it was me screaming 'shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, ah, fuck, fuck' as my ankle smacked to one side, wobbled, then snapped back.

Be thankful I deleted the line about the big bang.



w/v statedr - oh how the universe shits on me!

TimT said...

Time to make war on the universe.

TimT said...

It may be a gigantic, omnipresent brainless entity, but it's a gigantic, omnipresent brainless entity that had it coming.

Shelley said...

What's your point, Tim-o-t?

TimT said...

Point? If I ever had a point, then I made it at some relatively early period of my life and have been wandering around ever since looking for it again.

Shelley said...

Oh dear, you seek the point you mislaid in childhood, I seek the imaginary friend I mislaid in childhood. See how evil childhood is?

Dan the VespaMan said...

The other day I stubbed the front of my foot on an uneven piece of footpath and made one of those embarrassing stumbles you do when your trying to stop from falling over. I swear I heard a muffled snigger but looking around saw nobody.

Was this the universe laughing it up?

Shelley said...

Dan, most definitely. Please join my war? It may be a trifle more successful than my revolution.

Dan the VespaMan said...

Well, I guess if all negotiations for a peaceful and amicable resolution have broken down, then war it must be.

Shelley said...

If by 'all negotiations for a peaceful and amicable resolution have broken down' you mean 'is your trigger finger itchy?' Then yes.

War it is!

M L Jassy said...

Can you give me time to construct a bomb shelter?

I have a weak left ankle. It went bung once when I was reaching up to get a bit off the end of a durian paste log. My foot came down on irregular footpath. I like to blame durian, which smells vile, rather than the universe, unless durians are the bombs the universe has been dropping on us all this time! They're certainly, big, spiky and smelly enough.

Shelley said...

I feel that blaming the universe and declaring war is an excellent way of expressing my irritation without having to do anything.