Not interesting enough for twenty-five

1. I was a natural blonde until I dyed my hair black when I was sixteen.

2. Earlier this year I was in a car accident. My uncle was driving and he, shall we say, made a pre-emptive strike against the green light. I’m pretty sure that the accident happened because he was looking at my boobs rather than the traffic/lights.

3. When drunk I have to be banned from telephones. I do some horrendously embarrassing things with mobiles, landlines too….just telephones…

4. I used to draw fairly well. Haven’t done it in years and I don’t know why.

5. I am frequently, and unintentionally, ridiculously melodramatic.

6. About five years ago my father was diagnosed with PTSD and some kind of anxiety disorder and has been treated, mostly with pills, ever since. He has subsequently come over all Martin Guerre. I think I liked the first guy better.

7. I have a thing about my toenails being painted. They haven’t been naked in years.

8. I am frequently described as ‘intimidating’.

9. Marionettes freak me out, especially the whole Lonely Goatherd thing from The Sound of Music. Muppets – argh!

10. I wanted to be a writer but have since realised that I lack both talent and imagination.

11. I’m far more romantic than I usually admit. Ugh, I’m such a girl!

12. I have been told several times that I ‘look like a school teacher’. The same people usually think that this means I should become one. They are uniformly taken aback when I illustrate, in colourful terms, exactly what I loathe about the idea and why I would do a Janet Frame if forced into that position.

13. I feel like a drag queen whenever I dress up.

14. I enjoyed playing Hungry Hungry Hippo [only I think they were crocodiles] with my three year old nephew – the little fucker cheats but it was fun anyway.

15. The name nailpolishblues is one that I made up several years ago for chat. It came about after I experimented with the Queen Victoria cure for pms. It didn’t really work but I found that I didn’t really care…

16. I pretty much always land on my feet like a cat – metaphorically, not physically, ouch.

17. I am having pizza for dinner. My delivery ‘boy’ was young, tall, dark, and hot. Damn. I was wearing trackies and a bonds t-shirt. Double damn.

18. My degree reads: Bachelor of Arts (History and Government and International Relations). It makes it sound like I did a lot more work than I really did.

19. Nobody tagged me; I’m memeing out of boredom.

20. I am pigeon-toed but it’s only obvious when I trip over my own feet or when I’m really tired and can’t be bothered straightening my feet when I walk. I can turn my feet so that my insteps make a straight line with my big toes touching. Actually, I just tried it and I seem to have lost a little flexibility. It hurts my knees to go the other way…